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the polenta in your body

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setting: dinner table
menu: sautéed shrimp with red peppers and basil over polenta and an artichoke per person
characters: rachel, morgan, milo
context: it’s been a long day

Milo: “What’s that?” pointing to food on his plate
Morgan: “Polenta”
Milo: “What’s it made of?”
Morgan: “Corn”
Milo: looks at Morgan skeptically
Morgan: “Well, not corn on the cob…corn meal…” Morgan starts to look frazzled
Milo: “Polenta…like, the polenta in your body?”
Morgan: “Whaaaat?”
Milo: “yeah, the polenta in your body”
Morgan: “Milo, I don’t know what you’re talking about” Morgan definitely looking frazzled now
Rachel: “Do you mean placenta?”
Milo: “yeah, the placenta, the placenta in your body”
Morgan: “oh…well not exactly, that’s something different” cracking up and no longer frazzled

I’m going to be different than you.

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It started with telling Milo that I needed to clip his fingernails.

“Dad, when I’m an adult can I grow my fingernails long?”

“Milo, when you are an adult you can do anything you like”

“Like what?”

“You can grow your fingernails long, you can sleep all day, and you can eat a candy bar every night. But you know what, I’m an adult and I clip my fingernails, I don’t sleep all day, and I don’t eat candy bars every night.”

a moment of silence

“Dad…I’m going to be different than you.”

What does avoid mean?

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We were singing one of our favorite bedtime songs tonight and Milo asked me what the word “avoid” means (it comes up quite a bit in the lyrics “…sometimes I think, that you’re avoiding me…”.

We talked about it for a bit and then Milo asked a follow up question.

“Can babies climb trees?”

Not sure where this was going, I said, “no probably not”.

To which Milo replied, “well I can climb trees, so if I want to avoid the baby, I’ll just climb a tree!”

Warriors

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Rachel recently pulled out a checkers and chess set and we’ve been playing 4-year-old variants of both games. The rules are very dynamic, so you have to stay on your toes. For example, this evening we were in the middle of playing “chess” when Milo suddenly announced that he could go forwards and backwards but I wasn’t allowed to move my pieces anymore…

I still managed to pull off a victory, but that story is for another post.

At one point Milo asked me about the horse pieces and I explained that they were called knights. Predictably he asked me what knights were and I said that they were “warriors” who traveled around on horseback looking for other knights to battle with swords and lances.

He thought about this for a second and asked if they were called “worriers” because they were worried about killing other people.

Funny Money

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I have a client who pays in cash and so about once a month I come home with a wad of twenties. I was paid yesterday, and this morning when I went to get the money ready to be deposited, it was nowhere to be seen. I couldn’t find it anywhere – it wasn’t on my desk where I had left it, not in my wallet or bag…I was starting to think I was going nuts or that we had somehow been robbed when I remembered the little gremlin that we live with.

I started making a thorough search of his room but no luck. Finally, on the 2nd pass I found this little cardboard box closed up with $600 in real money, and several hundred more in play money.

Missing Money - 1

Missing Money - 2

Missing Money - 3

Missing Money - 4

Dad, do you know what smells like dog poo?

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Milo: Dad, do you know what smells like dog poo?
Me: Huh?
Milo: Daaad, do you know what smells like doggggg poooo?
Me: I don’t know.
Milo: Come on, guess!
Me: Ummm, dog poo?
Milo: That’s good daddy – good guess!