Milo: (to Zac) I’m whacking your bootie (whacking Zac’s butt)
Zac: (proudly) Milo’s whacking my beauty!
Slavery
Scene: lively banter at the dinner table as we all encourage Zac to say ‘more’ in sign language
Milo: “He did it! He said ‘more’!”
( Everyone cheers… )
Milo: “Mom how do you say ‘done’ in sign language?”
( Rachel does a gesture with her hands )
Milo: “Mom, how do you say ‘slavery’ in sign language?”
( Parents crack up )
The week in review
Zac has hit the 6-month mark! Here are his stats:
18 lb 10 oz (weight)
27.5 in (length)
45.0 cm (head circumference)
Zac tells us his name (while in early training for the 2028 Olympics)
Blizzard Nemo brought an exciting amount of snow. Here’s the view out our front door.
somebody else’s problem
Milo’s sweet wipeout
The other day Rachel mentioned that we should get an adult movie. … After a brief moment of titillation I realized that she probably meant we should get a movie that didn’t involve animated talking dogs.
Overheard last night:
Milo! Stop peeing through the slinky!!!
Dance party after violin class with Miss Ariel
Horse Thieves
Reading By the Shores of Silver Lake with Milo last night and we came to a chapter called “Horse Thieves”. We started talking about what kind of people might become horse thieves and what they might look like. I asked Milo if he thought he’d know a horse thief when he saw one and he said he would. When I asked him how he’d know, he thought about it for a second and replied, “it would be written on the back of their shirts”.
That was worth a good chuckle. If only life could be so nicely organized that we all wore uniforms saying what we were…
16 more years…
Dad, isn’t today a good day to play chess and drink some beers?
I’m just pretending to be a scorpion
Milo had his 1st dentist visit last week and got his teeth cleaned. Everything looked good – healthy teeth, good spacing…
Things were going well when part way into the cleaning Milo starts making this strange and somewhat guttural sound. The hygienist, slightly alarmed, stopped what she was doing and asked him if everything was alright and if something hurt.
Milo replied, “I’m just pretending to be a scorpion.”
And so I ask you, faithful audience, what animal or creature do you pretend to be when you get your teeth cleaned?
the polenta in your body
setting: dinner table
menu: sautéed shrimp with red peppers and basil over polenta and an artichoke per person
characters: rachel, morgan, milo
context: it’s been a long day
Milo: “What’s that?” pointing to food on his plate
Morgan: “Polenta”
Milo: “What’s it made of?”
Morgan: “Corn”
Milo: looks at Morgan skeptically
Morgan: “Well, not corn on the cob…corn meal…” Morgan starts to look frazzled
Milo: “Polenta…like, the polenta in your body?”
Morgan: “Whaaaat?”
Milo: “yeah, the polenta in your body”
Morgan: “Milo, I don’t know what you’re talking about” Morgan definitely looking frazzled now
Rachel: “Do you mean placenta?”
Milo: “yeah, the placenta, the placenta in your body”
Morgan: “oh…well not exactly, that’s something different” cracking up and no longer frazzled
I’m going to be different than you.
It started with telling Milo that I needed to clip his fingernails.
“Dad, when I’m an adult can I grow my fingernails long?”
“Milo, when you are an adult you can do anything you like”
“Like what?”
“You can grow your fingernails long, you can sleep all day, and you can eat a candy bar every night. But you know what, I’m an adult and I clip my fingernails, I don’t sleep all day, and I don’t eat candy bars every night.”
a moment of silence
“Dad…I’m going to be different than you.”