The Perfect Storm

I had my first intimate experience with projectile vomit a few weeks ago – I’m finally getting around to jotting down a brief account …

It started with a little runny nose. Next Milo produced one of the most giganta poops ever. Then came the quiet. He clearly wasn’t feeling well, but we managed to get him to fall asleep for a bit. But a couple of hours later, Milo woke up crying and miserable. The runny nose and congestion was now in full force. He wasn’t comfortable lying on his back and nothing we did helped him to fall back asleep and stop wailing. We both took multiple turns trying all forms of aggressive rocking and baby voodoo – but to no avail.

“The Perfect Storm” happened to be on tv and we had been idly watching it. So I tried parking Milo next to me in front of the tube and instantly he stopped crying and was fully entranced. So we all tiredly watched the movie for a bit and I was just passing Milo back to mom for a snack before trying to put him back to bed when I was spontaneously deluged by an astonishing volume of gale-force projectile vomit. Miraculously, despite being completely soaked myself, the futon we had been lying on came away virtually untouched.

Milo, not phased in the least, seemed to instantly feel better and began nursing. Rachel, who had already been thrown up on multiple times looked on in amusement and perverse satisfaction. I lurched off in semi-horror to the shower.